What is a parent-teen contract? It’s a written document, signed by parents and teenagers, that outlines a set of expectations and a set of consequences if the expectations are not met. Creating this type of contract helps take some of the emotion out of raising a teenager. It holds teens accountable for their actions and makes it clear up front what behavior is expected.
“The thing I like about contracts is the general concept of parents talking with their kids -- not necessarily as peers, because they're not -- but with respect and the give-and-take, understanding and negotiation that goes into that,” said Robert Sege, MD, PhD, associate chief of the division of general pediatrics and adolescent medicine at The Floating Hospital for Children at New England Medical Center in Boston, in a report to WebMD.
Create a Contract
Sample contracts can be purchased at Parent Contracts or Teen Behavior Contracts for different areas of concentration, such as Teen Driving, Drugs and Alcohol, and Teen Dating. Or, you could find a sample parent-teen contract and create your own. Teens With Problems is an excellent place to explore the elements of a parent-teen contract.
What to Include
Some priorities within a parent-teen contract could include curfew, chores, school grades, computer use, use of the car, substance use, and conflict resolution. Each area could identify an expected behavior and potential outcome. For example:
1. Teen will complete household chores assigned by parents, as listed in kitchen.
Consequence: Teen will not be allowed any privileges, including TV, Ipod, cell phone, computer, until required chores are completed.
Individualize It
Parent-teen contracts will be different according to individual teens' actions and preferences. For example, a driving teen might have a contract item related to car privileges (for example: teen will not be allowed to have access to the car until sibling is picked up from soccer). Or, if a teenager plays video games, these would be listed as a privilege that could be removed if, for example, a 'B' average is not maintained in school.
Post It
After the contract is written, approved by parents and teenagers together, and signed by both, it should be posted in a prominent place, such as a bulletin board in the kitchen or on the teenager’s bedroom door. If everyone has agreed to the terms, it’s a great idea to keep the document handy for reference.
Hopefully using a Parent-Teen contract will keep some of the drama out of raising teenagers, and keep emotional outbursts to a minimum. Good luck!
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