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Teenage Boys' Anger at Discipline

Anger is a Problematic Emotion when Disciplining Your Son

Mar 29, 2009 Reece Manley

Developmental changes in your teenage boy may bring raging responses to discipline of any kind. Parents can prepare by helping him understand and control his anger.

All emotions are in flux and development during the teen years. One of the most difficult areas for many parents is the pronounced anger and rage expressed by their teenage sons in the face of discipline.

Of course, there is no hard set rule on exactly what effect of the physical and emotional changes of adolescence will manifest in behavior. However, you need to be prepared to deal with markedly increased rebellion from your son when a discipline issue arises and you need to understand some of these are beyond his control.

Exploring Your Son's Anger with Him

Fortunately, the ability to control emotions develops along with the emotions your son will experience. He may become angry, but he must learn how to control and express anger appropriately. Begin a conversation with your teen about anger when you first notice your quiet 12 year old is suddenly an angry, seething 13 year old.

Begin the exploration of anger with your son by pointing out that anger is a natural emotion. Because he is male, he has a stronger predisposition to experience anger. It is perfectly okay to feel angry. However, expressing anger must be controlled and the control of the anger starts with him.

The challenge of dealing with anger from your son will also be called into play when you must discipline your son for his behavior. It is very important to be specific about the behavior your found unacceptable and why you are responding.

Coping with Anger Shown by Your Teenage Son in the Face of Discipline

If your son is too angry to talk about it, allow him a cooling off period by suggesting a walk around the block or some other physical activity to allow the natural reactive rebellion to wear off a bit.

When he's ready to talk, keep your boundaries up on what is and what is not acceptable to say and do about the discipline. It may be okay with you for him to say, "I disagree with you," but you would want to stop him if he responds with a "you suck" comment. Again, you may have to return him to a cooling off period.

Once the disciplining action has been acknowledged and accepted, let your son know you are proud of his ability to control his anger. Let him know you understand it can be very difficult to deal with people and situations when he feels angry.

If anger is becoming an ongoing problem for your son, have him consider some of the following ideas:

Keep a journal of when he feels angry, what triggered it and how long it lasted. Explore this with him.
Engage in more physical activity to such as a punching bag or going for a run.
Role play situations which often cause anger and explore other reactions he could express.

Anger is fact of adolescent life. Especially in boys, this is likely to become a factor in disciplining your son. You can help him by assisting him in understanding the emotion and finding different ways of expressing it.

The copyright of the article Teenage Boys' Anger at Discipline in Parenting Teens is owned by Reece Manley. Permission to republish Teenage Boys' Anger at Discipline in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.