An Effective Strategy for Adolescent Discipline
An Approach to Active Rather than Passive Punishments
When your child was young, the goal of a time out was to simply stop the behavior and suspend the child's attention. Essentially, it worked as a reset button. As children reach adolescence they require more than a simple suspension of behavior for effective discipline. By using assignments with the time out, discipline has a better chance of positively affecting future behavior.
According to Piaget's cognitive development theory, as teenager's develop they move from concrete thinking to formal operations. In other words, they are able to see the world from other people's viewpoints and they are able to consider other's emotions and feelings.
Parents need to move discipline methods forward to match their teen's development. Where once teenagers could only think about themselves and other very specific concepts, they are now able to connect how their actions effect others. This gives parents an important advantage in effective discipline.
Active Discipline in Your Adolescent
The term active discipline is extrapolated from Paul Kaplan's Adolescence [Houghton Mifflin, 1990] and should be taken to refer to punishments where the teenager is called upon to take specific action rather than simply be suspended from behavior. Consider the following example:
Your teenager John was sending and receiving inappropriate text messages in class. The teacher confiscated the cell phone and called to let you know what had happened and you could pick up the phone from her at the school. You feel you should punish John at home for this infraction of school rules. Now, consider two punishments for John.
A passive discipline technique would be to ground John and suspend his phone privileges for one month. This discipline requires no action on John's part except to comply with the outline of the punishment.
An active discipline technique would rely on some of the same elements. However, rather than setting a time for the restoration of phone privileges, John will have to earn the right to use the phone again. Active discipline assignments could include:
- Have John write 100 words on why the rule of no texting in class is in place.
- Have John talk with the teacher and apologize for interrupting the class.
- Have John read an article about the topic of the class period he was texting in.
Once the assignment is complete, then privileges can be restored.
Elements of Active Discipline
From looking through the examples, you will see a pattern about active discipline. Active discipline requires the teenager to take some action rather than just wait out the punishment. The second half of the equation is to have the action apply directly to the expressed behavior. Simply increasing chores or imposing corporal punishment are not as likely to have a lasting effect on future behavior.
To be able to qualify as active discipline:
- The punishment should involve a specific action from the teen not normally completed.
- The punishment should be directly relevant to the action for which the teen is being punished.
- The punishment should be challenging, but not impossible to complete. Consider the age and cognitive abilities of the child.
By being aware of the changes in your teen's ability to apply cognitive skills as they develop, you are able to move from passive "time out" types of punishments to more effective active punishments which require action from the teenager. In addition, this action should be related specifically to the incident and, once fulfilled, should lead to a restoration of privileges.
Teens are Ready for Active Discipline
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